I’m at a crossroads of ignorance and pain.
An uncomfortable challenge waits in the darkness.
I collapse through the complexity of humankind
And descend into madness,
A beautiful nightmare
Crawling with many faces,
The disfigured evolution.
Fears rush through my plasma,
Forcing me to feel excruciatingly alive,
Except social expectations from phonies
Beg me to die.
As I’m tumbling through the puncturing wind,
My skin and flesh shed off my decaying bones,
Smirking, still considering:
My thoughts will be the death of me.
Reaching the depths of the demons,
I begin digging and scratching
At the tiniest obscure corners for desperate comfort,
Isolation,
Loneliness,
Low self-esteem,
Anxiety,
Segregation,
Depersonalization,
Contemplating suicide…
Seems like the end of the world.
I ponder which end;
I stop there,
Nowhere else to go.
With devilish mass, I’m screaming silent linguistics.
My sins scrape at me through the blur.
I lie wide awake at the base of the pit,
As if my eyes were actually shut
Until a dot of light pierces through the gloom
To guide my climb back top,
To conquer the Shadow Beast.
The mirror is at the surface.
I stare at the replicate of the glass.
My reflection is all I see.
It will be the figure I glance at every day
Until my death,
Maybe forever.
My eyeballs grow heavy
And pop out of my sockets at my sight
To become anchors of the body,
But I catch these weights
To hold my being together
As I become conscious as to whom I want to be
And who I want to defeat and disappear.
I won’t wake up in another world if I’m dead;
I will only awaken if I continue living.
I realize a lot of emotionless people are scared to be sensitive.
I remember that although the bottom abyss is pitch black,
I was brave enough for exploring it.
I have something to offer the borderlands.
I understand my faulty history.
My imperfect past ignites my enlightenment.
I will not repress but express.
I will not embrace but save face.
My revival will pump fuel into my inner self
To persevere in the right direction across the bridges.
An emerging individual rides the serpent on a long journey
From Heaven to Hell then onto the earth,
An emotional roller coaster transformation
From a smooth baby shape born into a fluorescent lighting,
Shifted to a wrinkled, hunched over grandparent looking at the sunset horizon,
I recognize and accept my present existence and the inevitable:
The unavoidable decomposition buried with the roots of my homeland. 
Kevin Adam Flores Barbosa is an English graduate who has been writing poetry and short fiction since he existed. He has been published in The Rio Review, University of Texas at Rio Grande Valley’s Gallery 2016-2018 magazines, BAM's SXSM zine, and The Chachalaca Review. He's also been mentioned in University of Texas at Brownsville’s The Collegian and The Brownsville Herald. He is a bittersweet poet who has an Instagram and Tumblr (blinkforman23).
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