Like a diligent soldier I march on,
I do what needs to be done,
I secure what I’d rather not secure.
I am slowly ever-changing into someone I hate:
She seeks money & job-security,
She works herself to the bone for a goal she never wanted,
She drives herself to a goal she always hated,
& everyone wants her looking happy.
She told me:
This is what adulthood is all about so shut up, grow up, and quit whining!
I don’t need to shut up because no one listens anyway.
I’m angry and that’s all you’ll ever know about me!
Because you don’t care enough to delve into my soul!
You will never know that a racing heart is what rattles this head of mine!
You don’t know me!
I am smart!
I’m stupid!
I am bright!
I’m impatient!
I’m apathetic!
I am loving!
I am empathetic!
I’m a bitch!
I am a bleeding heart!
A fallen angel!
& that’s barely my surface!
But that’s something you will never ever see,
& I don’t need you to understand
Your understanding of my hot blood doesn’t matter.
You are nothing,
I am everything,
My pride is a sin but your very existence is an abomination,
So go to Hell and become the demon everyone wants you to be!
You ask:
And who told you you’re going to heaven?
Will I go to heaven?
I don’t know.
What I do know is: 
One day I’ll die,
and demand to start again.
Aylin Lopez is a twenty-two year old, unemployed, college student who writes in her spare time (which she has in abundance).
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