this body does not feel like my own
although it should
it is mi templo y mi altar
this body that is not my own
is all i have
and so i must learn to love it as such
in this body that is not my own lives the essence of me
and i must protect and honor it
because only that way can i resist the self hate that society uses to attempt to domesticate me
the shame i am told i should feel
in this body that is not my own
i am trying to create a home
in which i coexist with nothing but amor
de ese que sabe a mango dulce y jugoso
there are days when i feel indifferent to the scrutiny of the outside world
i can look in the mirror and embrace my body’s unique beauty
from my round pancita that protrudes without fear
to the cellulite that brings texture to my sun kissed thighs
when i sit mis lonjitas comes together and create hills
when i lay down un valle florece con amor
never again will i succumb and be made to feel dirty
sucia, descarada, y sin vergüenza
como la malinche i am demonized
for loving myself a little too much
being a little too proud of my being
and these brown hands have worked too hard to cultivate confidence and self love
for some pendejo to come and uproot my being
this body is my own to reclaim
it will not be colonized by the male gaze although they may try
este cuerpo es mi resistencia.
Karla Camila Gutierrez was born in Matamoros, Tamaulipas and was raised both here in the valley and Mexico. As a first generation immigrant, life in the borderlands is a concept that has motivated her to pursue a degree in English and Cultural Studies. As a member of WAKE-UP topics she writes about are LGBTQ, reproductive rights, the marginalization of POC, sexual liberation, machismo, mental illness, among other things. When she’s not hustling at work or school, she loves to take naps, read, indulge in delicious food of all kinds, and binge watch films and series. Camila hopes to get into a job that allows her to write such as a job in the journalism field and she’s also would like to work as a union organizer. She hopes that the growing awareness of social issues will have a positive impact in the valley and that she will be able to give back to the community.
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